Image by Joe Kingston

Image by Joe Kingston

All this talk of mindfulness is wonderful, but what do you do when life gets in the way? You know what I’m talking about: screaming kids, deadlines, a frustrated spouse, the boss on your back, and a budget that never quite manages to balance. How do you remain (or even spend a moment as) mindful when stress pummels you from every side?

Well, the short answer for most of us is, that quite often we don’t.

When we get caught up in the story of our lives, when we can’t see beyond the minutiae, and the vast open space of clarity is a distant memory, we quite simply can’t be mindful. And this is a very important point: we can’t be mindful because we can’t see beyond the minutiae; it’s not the other way around. There are essentially two ways of looking at things—one being in the midst of everything, the other witnessing it all. Our mindful self does the latter, our buzzing, zipping, overactive ego mind does the former. When buzzy, zippy, overactive ego rules the roost, there’s no hope for a mindful moment.

But here’s the thing: buzzy, zippy, overactive ego doesn’t rule the roost. Not ever. We think it does. We let it take over. We get in that do-do-do mindset, and the ego thrives in it. But it is just a wild child in a rumpus room. Surrounding it from every direction, the mindful witness lives in a constant state of peace, completely oblivious of the rumpus room shenanigans.

Every time we find mindfulness, we are simply tapping the eternal.

So, back to the original question: how do you be mindful when you’re stressed? Again, you can’t. Mindfulness and stress are mutually exclusive. The only option—if mindfulness is what you want—is to stop. First, you must stop; then you can invite mindfulness in through that rumpus room door. It’s waiting patiently on the other side, but it has no cause to enter while you’re bouncing off the walls and doing back flips and scissor kicks.

So stop. Take some deep breaths. Start to notice those breaths as they slow and soften to normal breathing. Sit with them a while, and when you’re ready, get up and open the door to your true mindful self. Welcome it in, embrace it, savor its grace. You are one with all that it surveys. Be grateful. The door is bound to close again, chaos consuming you like hellfire; but know that door is always there, just waiting once again for that moment when you choose to stop, breathe, and listen.

Mindfulness has all the time in the world because mindfulness is all the time in the world. Being present for just a moment given you full access to it. Meet me there when we each allow ourselves the chance to stop.

By Published On: December 14, 2015Categories: Mindful Musings

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